Posted by Mary D'Alba on Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I have to admit I have a guilty pleasure.

Daytime Judge shows.  I know, I'm seeking help. 

One of the interesting things about these shows is the perception that people have about the events or situation when testifying.

For example, there was a couple fighting over items that were left over after a breakup.  One person said it was hers, the other person said it was his.  They told the judge each side of the story.  Not surprisingly, both sides were different.  It wasn't like one was lying - they stories had some similarities.  But their perception of what happened was different.

There is a phrase that says there are three sides to every story - yours, mine and the truth. 

People filter information in different ways.   How they filter it and process it will be key in how the remember it.  Some people are flat out lying when they tell a story, it's true, but some actually are just seeing it differently.

This is what can happen in relationships.  People are looking at each side with their own filter.  This filter comes from experiences with other people and situations, upbringing and education.  It is like a cheese sifter, what is caught in it is what is what is important to the person - the rest falls out.

This is what a judge has to look at - not only the truth but what filter the person is using as their filter.  That is why it may seem that questions are being asked that aren't relevant.  The judge is trying to determine their filter and perception,

In our own relationships, do we have to look at the filter that is being used by ourselves and others when making decisions? Maybe our filter needs to be changed in order to understand others.

Copyright 2009, Spiritualitygirl