musings-of-mary

I'm fine?

Sun, 20 May 2012 03:11:03 +0100

I was walking up the stairs to my office and my psychic development student was waiting for me. I looked up and saw her face - she looked so sad.

"How are you, sweetie?" I said.

She looked at me and said "Doing fine!"

I paused. She smiled and said, "Well, no, I'm not, but that's what everyone says, right?"

And she's right. When we ask someone how he or she is doing, that person usually says "I'm fine." It's a common response, one we never think about or really acknowledge.

We're conditioned to put on the "brave face" and push through the sadness, anger or grief to get back to "normal."

However, when we do that, it takes away our ability to handle the emotions we're feeling in a healthy way. Ignoring them doesn't make it go away. Those feelings don't just - POOF - disappear.

Sure, for a little while, we may not see it but it is sitting there, waiting for us. Because it needs to be noticed, it can come out in different ways. All kinds of habits are formed from pushing away what are legitimate feelings and experiences. We may look for all kinds of coping techniques that may seem to be healthy but they could be hurtful. It could affect our sleep, our eating habits, and our relationships, for example.

It's the big elephant in our heart and soul that just wants to be acknowledged.

My student and I put aside the lesson for today and just talked. She cried and expressed her sadness over a situation that was out of her control. We looked at what steps she could take to handle her piece of it and how she could care for herself during her grieving and recovery period.

Setting a plan up to care for ourselves while dealing with all that is going on will help us move through those difficult feelings and situations easier and quicker. Look for people across the board for support - professionals and supportive family and friends are a great start. Be strategic in the plan of action for self care. Others may have good intentions but may not be the right people to help us in our situations. That's totally okay.

Here are three suggestions to help with working through feelings:

1.) Write feelings down in a journal. This could be a letter to the hurt or problem. It could be a poem. Let it move out of the body on paper. Just write - no breaks, no editing, and no judgment. This can provide revelations or steps that we might not have thought of while it's rolling around in our heads. Writing it literally helps us see it differently.

2.) Rest when needed. If tired or it seems like it's a good time to lie down, do it. It's not lazy nor is it unhealthy to just say, "I need a nap." This is part of being gentle with the process.

3.) Let the process be what it is. In other words, don't use those judgment statements "I should feel better" or "It should be over it." The journey is not always smooth. Some days may be better than others. As time goes on, as the work is done, those tough days will be less and less.

Facing those feelings, asking for help and being gentle with ourselves creates the opportunity for transformation to happen. No matter what we're conditioned to do - be brave, push it away, just "forget" about it, we can always change it. When we have the courage to say, "I'm NOT fine", we’ll see healing process immediately begin to happen.

So, how are you today?

Standing in the Sun

Sat, 19 May 2012 13:25:51 +0100

The rain falls on me,

I feel the drops,

stinging my skin,

the wet rain reminds

me of my wet tears.

Dripping, soaking me.

Tearing me to the core,

even though soft.

The rain doesn't let up

I try to shield myself

but the umbrella

flies away like a bird,

I feel the rain again.

It isn't stopping.

It drives harder,

it pounds me until

there is not a drop of dry left.

I shiver but I then realize

I'm still standing.

The rain may be pelting me

with all it's got

but even though slippery

and driving as hard as it can,

I'm still standing.

The rain can't knock me down,

it can try to push me back,

making me fight for each step

but I do because

the rain has to eventually

let up on the fierce pelting

it gives me for a while.

It tests me, making sure

I decide to stand strong.

I can find shelter from the storm

and wait for it to ride out.

Eventually, the rain gives up

and there I am

left standing in the sun.

The Master

Fri, 18 May 2012 12:04:17 +0100

I was having a discussion with a friend about emotions and handling stress that comes up on a day to day basis. I've accepted stress is part of my life but I also realize it's my choice how to handle it.

I said to him, "Part of my journey is to be the Master of me, the Master of my emotions. I am in control of how I handle what comes up in front of me."

This statement made me pause - what is the meaning of being a Master? A Master is someone that is an expert and has a high level of skill. He or she could have had a many teachers and studied for a long time. It is a commitment to be dedicated to whatever craft they are studying. A Master does not take what their chosen skills are lightly. There is some sort of sacrifice and hard work involved.

We all have those things we are Masters at in our worlds. For some it could be tangible - playing guitar, for example. For others, it could be intangible - like problem solving. It could be exercise, raising children, being a volunteer - anything that gives you passion and satisfaction when you are the Master in that moment.

One of the most important things that separates a Master from the rest is practice. The Master is able to take the information and work with it. He or she focuses on understanding, even blending, with the information or skill so it's second nature. A Master makes it effortless while we may still be trying to figure out step one.

Whatever we are Masters at in life, we have opportunities every day to practice these skills. Think of situations as a test drive or opportunity to see how well we're mastering these skills. We may even be modeling or teaching for someone else to become a Master.

And, if we're not quite there yet, we can always take situations are reflect on how we can Master them. This is part of the journey - seeing how we can grow.

You may not even know the skills you have - we are all Masters. Consider what you are Mastering today when you make choices that transform, inspire and show courage.

Be proud of yourself, Master.

Just Go For It

Thu, 17 May 2012 06:20:40 +0100

Sometimes it takes

all the courage inside

your heart, soul

and worried mind

to just go for it.

You have to dig deep,

past all the fear,

the naysayers in your mind,

the places that warn you

and just go for it.

It may take more time

that you want it to take

but with each step

that you shakily take

you make sure

to just go for it.

Watch the foundation

being built, brick by brick.

It's building high and strong.

It's happening because

you decided to just go for it.

There will be times you will

slip and fall back

don't be discouraged.

When you get up

you go for it...again.

So as each moment

that passes on this journey

makes you grateful for the experience.

Aren't you glad that

you decided to just go for it?

Yes, You

Wed, 16 May 2012 03:53:05 +0100

You.

Yes, You.

A light, a beauty.

You have that special way.

There is no one like you.

The world would not turn

quite as well without you.

You.

Yes, You.

Moments with you are gifts.

You blaze a path where you walk.

Seeing things no one else can see.

Being a part of the all

with just your smile.

You.

Yes, You.

You are deeply loved.

Open your heart to what's offered.

Others delight in your happiness.

You make a difference

by speaking, listening and being.

You.

Yes, You.

How can you be sad?

Allow yourself to feel joy.

You have so much to offer.

There is unlimited opportunities

waiting for your approval.

You.

Yes, You.

Life is working for you.

So what if it doesn't go right?

You can make it better.

No talent escapes you;

you have unlimited resources.

You.

Yes, You.

Can you embrace what others know?

You are spectacular.

Be the blessing that you are.

You.

Yes, Wonderful You.

Yes, You

Wed, 16 May 2012 03:51:23 +0100

You.

Yes, You.

A light, a beauty.

You have that special way.

There is no one like you.

The world would not turn

quite as well without you.

You.

Yes, You.

Moments with you are gifts.

You blaze a path where you walk.

Seeing things no one else can see.

Being a part of the all

with just your smile.

You.

Yes, You.

You are deeply loved.

Open your heart to what's offered.

Others delight in your happiness.

You make a difference

by speaking, listening and being.

You.

Yes, You.

How can you be sad?

Allow yourself to feel joy.

You have so much to offer.

There is unlimited opportunities

waiting for your approval.

You.

Yes, You.

Life is working for you.

So what if it doesn't go right?

You can make it better.

No talent escapes you;

you have unlimited resources.

You.

Yes, You.

Can you embrace what others know?

You are spectacular.

Be the blessing that you are.

You.

Yes, Wonderful You.

Ready to Play?

Tue, 15 May 2012 03:48:58 +0100

Fate deals us the cards
how we play them in our choice
whether we fold, go all in or bluff
we hold the cards, remember?

Our chips are worth so many things
fame, fortune, family
love, hate, pain,
success, joy, happiness

Our game is the one that we play
people sit at the table
they may support us, challenge us, or deceive us
but they are all part of our game

Some people leave the table
they take their chips and go
whether or not we understand their strategy
their own game is in play too

So we make friends with the dealer
we try our best to win every hand
and even if we have to fold sometimes
keeping our chips may be the best thing

And one day, fate will beckon us to stand up
we will leave our table
our chips will be cashed in
how much you leave with will depend
on how well you played the hands dealt

So fate may try to challenge you,
change you, create you
but remember
you decide your fate, not anyone else
Ready to play?

~Copyright 2009-2012, Mary D'Alba (Spiritualitygirl)~

Magnificent Sights

Fri, 11 May 2012 00:26:03 +0100

Find your peace
Be in the center
More than you know
This place is yours

Be the owner
Over the others
Blend with the Universe
Rise above the rest

Experience the Bliss
The childlike wonder
Draped in stars
Followed by overwhelming light

More to it all
Open your eyes
You can grasp it
And make it real

It’s all about you
Where you find it
Where you keep it
What’s in your soul

Look there now
Don’t be afraid
There are magnificent sights
Waiting to be seen.

The Work

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:06:30 +0100

I had dinner with my cousin the other night. It was so nice to catch up with her. We have a wonderful relationship where we can talk, laugh and cry about anything.

Somewhere in our conversation, we started talking about the difference between jobs and our work. Most people have a job. This is something that we need to have to have to pay the bills. It can be good or bad. It could even be something we could be very good at day-to-day but chances are it's not what we really want to be doing for at least 8 hours a day.

Then there is our "work". It's our mission in life. Our work is what we have a passion for doing, what we dream of if "we had all the money in the world" and what we feel that we are being pulled or called to do. It could be helping others, it could be selling hot dogs or it could be being a great mom or dad. It could be anything that makes us feel like we've settled into our own unique spot in the world.

I know many people, though, who can't imagine doing their work or it being a huge part of their life. I notice this with my clients when they tell me they are miserable at their job. I'll say, "Well, what would you want to be doing?” Many times people will tell me a well thought out dream but at the end say "But I can't make any money at that.”

But what if that dream is the work? How do we deny that? It is the difference between having to do it and wanting to do it. I'm not saying to quit a stable source of income with nothing building on the other side. But then the question is - how do we get there?

It starts with building a bridge so we can cross over to the side of where we want to do. Maybe one piece of the bridge is taking a class, maybe another piece is creating a plan or timeline, maybe yet another piece is finding someone who can be a mentor or guide through the process - a bridge can't be built with one piece of wood or stone. It takes many materials and hard work to pull it together. And it may take longer if you're working alone or have to stop production for a little while.

Building this bridge from one side to the other may be a long process or it may happen overnight. However, the most important thing when building this bridge is to know that you have to keep going and believe it will get done. Without that, nothing else will matter.

The lessons or experiences that we go through help us learn our path and fine tune our work. It may not be a straight path but at least we have found that road we are can travel. If we take a detour, it's okay. We will be guided back to the path, especially if we are denying it. There is no denying who we are.

So what is our work? There is something inside each and every one of us that tells us what it is. If we deny it, we deny our core. Instead of saying "What if" say "Why Not". Our destiny and our work are in our hands.

The Wheel

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 17:13:22 +0100

The Wheel will turn

it is inevitable

it will bring you up

and push you down

The Wheel of Change

it's at the core of our lives

wait for the spin

it comes back around again

Part of the life's cycle

is to move through the joy and pain

the wheel may slow down

but it will never stop, never fear

There may be times

when the Wheel doesn't move fast enough

you wonder when it will turn

you wonder why you're stuck

But when things seem to be at the worst

keep hope that the wheel will spin to the best

you just have to be patient

and enjoy the spinning ride