I recently did a reading for someone who is one of my favorite clients.  She's fun, outgoing and has a lot going for her.  The place she feels she is lacking is in a relationship so the last couple of readings we've had is around that topic.


I tuned into the most recent guy she had gone out on a date with and he didn't seem like he was for her.   He wasn't a dysfunctional person or a person with a ton of baggage, he just wasn't for her.


Then I heard something from Spirit that seemed very important to share with her - "You don't have to convince him that you're the right person for him.  You don't have to show him the error of his ways and that he should like you.  Stop trying to sell people on you.  You're already really great!  Be yourself!"


She looked at me in shock because I think she hadn't thought of it like that.  Sometimes readings do that - they give you the clarity you need.  In this case, it was a huge revelation.


When we focus on something that isn't natural or (the big buzz word) organic, then all kinds of other factors come into play.  This client was so focused on putting her best foot forward, doing all the "right" things and analyzing the dates after they were done, she forgot to focus on not only how awesome she could be and just be herself, but she forgot to ask herself if she really liked him.


When we get out of that spot of just doing our best as we know it and being ourselves, we lose who we are.  We focus on the right move, the right step, that we just drop the most important things.


I'm not saying to go out on a date and not be polite or say, go into work and just blow off deadlines.  That's not what I mean.  What I mean is put your best effort forward for you.  Let those parts of you shine and the rest will fall into place.  Either people will recognize that light or they won't but either way, you've stayed true to yourself.  That's important if you want to continue to live with and like yourself.


Just think about why are you doing things - is it for you?  Is it for someone else?  Is it coming from a place of not being in power?  Step back and ask yourself what your motivation is.  If it feels wrong to you, it probably is.


I can't wait to do the next reading for my client.  I know she's going to meet a great guy - someone that will appreciate and love her for who she is.  And, I know she finally will love and appreciate herself, which is the first step to any healthy relationship - self-appreciation.


So if you're going to convince anyone that you're great, start with yourself.  You'll see incredible growth there if you put some time into your own growth and happiness.   And then maybe, you won't have to convince anyone of your worth because you'll already be comfortable with what it is. 



~Copyright 2010, Mary D'Alba (Spiritualitygirl)~