I really loved
the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I thought
the concepts were great and I wanted to find a way to integrate them into my
life, along with my other spiritual practices and beliefs. It's important
to me when I read or work with spiritual concepts that I make them personal to
me. It's the only way it seems to work for me.
One of the
concepts that really hit home for me was "Don't Take Anything
Personally." Ruiz talks about how people are coming from their
experiences and their story when they talk to us or talk about us or create any
interaction with us.
This was a challenge
for me, especially when someone was upset with me. How could it not be
about me? Well, it truly isn't. Here's an example.
Did you ever
have conflict with someone over a misunderstanding? You have your idea,
they have their idea. You're both coming from different places, your
story. The other person can tell you you're wrong but that is from their
point of view. From yours, you were right! It just shows how each
person interprets the information differently.
So how do you
handle conflict without taking it personally? It can be that you
understand where the person is coming from but you don't absorb it as your
fault. You look at it detached and say "What could I have done
better?" and learn from it. If you take it personally, you'll get
wrapped up in those feelings of guilt, upset, sadness, hurt and more feelings
that won't serve or grow you. Honor where the person is coming from but
understand they are interpreting it from their point of view and their
perspective and their story, not yours.
When you don't
take anything personally, you start to notice that inside voice that speculates
stops. The "why did they do that? what did they mean by
that? what should I think of them doing (or not doing) x, y, z" just
stops. You don't get caught up in the drama of trying to figure them
out. It's not your responsibility to figure them out. It's your
responsibility to figure you out.
challenging but when you start to think about situations you have with others,
say to yourself "I'm not going to take it personally. I'm going to
learn from it and grow" and find the lessons in it. Once you do
that, the drama of trying to understand others, worrying about what others have
said, done, not done, etc., goes away, leaving you to move forward. It
doesn't mean you don't understand someone's point of view or concerns, it means
that you just see it at face value. Once you do that, watch what freedom
2011, Mary D'Alba (Spiritualitygirl)~