I love how hard we can be on
ourselves. I've had many a client say "I should be over him/her, I
should be further in life, I should be..."
The "shoulds" mean nothing. It's a discussion of possibilities
that could have happened and it's used a tool to beat ourselves up for what we
haven't accomplished or overcome.
So what if you aren't exactly where you want to be? So what if you
haven't let go of all your feelings about someone or something? So what?
Where you are right now is just that - where you are right now. It
doesn't predict future success or your life as a whole. It is a snap shot
of today; it can always change.
We own our lives and our processes. If we believe that, it means the
"shoulds" are totally in our control to change. They don't have
to last or haunt us. They are there to remind us to look at the gap
between where we are to where we want to go. Evaluation and action go
hand in hand. That's how we get unstuck.
Next time you say "should" in reference to a situation in your life,
stop and listen to what you're saying. Knowing that you're making that
statement can help you move forward. Does it still fit? Does it
make sense to pursue anymore? Take it from talk to action and you'll be
saying "should" much less often.
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